Grief Is A Wave Pattern
It’s five months to the day that we lost Luke and this morning I found the photocopies of his suicide notes on my doormat. Unfortunately we will never see the original last notes he wrote to all of us as they have been retained as evidence by the Coroner’s office.
On the 20th of May I was met at my door by the Policeman witness carrying a bag of personal items that had been held until after the inquest. Unfortunately the scissors they cut him down with were amongst those possessions.
The healing work that takes place after a death can be seriously challenged in the space of a few days. The businesslike affairs of handling a suicide in the city are practical and impersonal as they have to be. It’s a large world with a lot of people and the emphasis lies with keeping the mortal ones safe.
So although it’s been more than enough to zap our spirit our heads are still bobbing on this sea of tears. We still breathe and with every tidal wave or tiny ripple – we keep the ship from wrecking.