The last few days have been tough. Looking after a toddler is a job that should come with award badges and cash incentives. When that toddler asks for a daddy that won’t be coming today, tomorrow or ever again life seems incredibly like having signed up to climb Everest knowing that the team going with you have your back and then the team pulls out of the trip at the last minute and you have to go on your own. I did Duke of Edinburgh expeditions, I can light fires and make shelters and orientate maps. I know parenting in that same way. I know single parenting equally as well. Sometimes you just need something more.

This morning it came in the form of a “bizzy fuzzy” dream from my sister. Ascertaining that it wasn’t an anxiety or psychological dream from that very “bizzy fuzzy”, (I will explain this in later posts), the message came from my husband loud, clear and comforting. I’ve had a hard job sleeping recently and I rarely dream myself anymore although I know it will start again when the baby gets older. The dream message gave me another boost to “just keep going”, a widows mantra indeed.

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